Thursday, March 06, 2008


Can't sleep. Not unusual. Ever feel like you just aren't happy with the way you've turned out? The graffiti I recently read in the convenience store bathroom spoke with far too much truth:

"your choices determine your life"

I've made too many choices to stay busy, and it has been an insane pace. How crazy am I? Let me count the ways:

  1. I am in full blown menopause, so my emotions are betraying me often and seriously (yes, even more than usual).

  2. Add on unbelieveable upheaval of selling our house (having it all painted first)

  3. Buying a new place, moving and having it rennovated

  4. Working nearly full time (and some overtime)

  5. Volunteering with church

  6. Serving as manager for the hockey team

  7. Taking a big Christmas holiday/cruise to Hawaii

  8. Going with hubby to Chicago a couple weeks ago

  9. Shuttling son between school, hockey and freestyle skiing

  10. Helping son transfer high schools when we moved

  11. Planning a hockey team trip to Saskatoon

  12. Planning a trip to take son to Provincial Freestyle Skiing Competition in Jasper for 5 days

  13. Planning a long weekend to Nashville for my nephew's wedding

  14. Planning a longer weekend trip to St. Louis with hubby

  15. Planning a summer holiday to Quebec with francophone friends

As you can understand, this kind of pace crowds out many things, including sleep, planning proper meals, exercise and time with God. I haven't been healthy either physically or spiritually, in fact, I feel quite like the rebellious prodigal. I have been irritable and discontented and have spent very little time in positive interaction with hubby and son.

On the upside, I love my job. We just came off a three day staff retreat which was some lovely quiet time to reflect. Regular church attendance and women's Bible study (with video teaching by Beth Moore) ensures I get a good dose of God's word. Even though I don't have a dedicated quiet time, I still read email devotionals (Elisabeth Elliot and Neil Anderson) when I can. The Lord still speaks, whether I sit down to talk with Him or not.

Part of our assignment before staff retreat was to begin reading Richard Foster's book "Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home." It is a real encouragement and helps to identify all the ways we pray that we may not necessarily "count" as prayer. It encourages a deeper connection through various types of prayer, so I look forward to reading and applying it more.

So, all in all, I am praying for wisdom on what to cut out of my life. Decluttering my commitments. Moving a step or two back toward quiet life where I "make it (my) aim to live a quiet life, mind my own business and work with my hands." I Thes. 4:11


  1. Be wary of comtemplative spiritualism which is endorsed by Richard Foster and Beth Moore. Remember what the scripture teaches about following false teachers and doctrines (1Timothy 4). In one of Beth Moore's DVD's she endorses "Yoga", which is not of Christian teaching but Hinduism!
    I pray you think about this...

  2. When we are commanded to "Be still and know that (He) is God" I can't imagine how one would do that without being contemplative.

    Both Beth Moore and Richard Foster have solid theology which has become the catalyst for great spiritual growth and conviction of the Holy Spirit in myself and many others.

    It seems the religious leaders of Jesus' day had a lot of problems with what he said. Beware a judgemental attitude.

    I would recommend to you any of Moore or Foster's work. I think God is quite big enough to interpret his own word to me through other human beings who love him deeply and want nothing more than to honour him with their words, life and conduct.

    If you'd like to discuss this further, feel free to email me.