Count the Cost

Teach us to number our days,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

(Psalm 90:12)

I understand some people on the autism spectrum have a compulsion to count. While I haven’t been diagnosed on the spectrum, I wondered what it might be like to number how many different items I touched to prepare my daily breakfast (26). Then it expanded to include the multiple times I touched each item and finally the end list of counting each individual action right through to clean up (74):

1. Open the fridge

2. Pull out blueberries

3. raspberries

4. coconut milk

5. and gluten-free bread

6. close the fridge

7. Put two slices in the toaster

8. Open the cupboard

9. Get a bowl

10. and a plate

11. close the cupboard

12. open the drawer

13. get a spoon

14. and a knife

15. set the plate and knife by the toaster

16. set the bowl and spoon on the island

17. open the pantry

18. pull out granola

19. and raisins

20. close the pantry

21. to the bowl, add granola

22. add raisins

23. add blueberries

24. add raspberries

25. add coconut milk

26. open the fridge

27. return the coconut milk and berries

28. close fridge

29. open another cupboard

30. get a mug 

31. close the cupboard

32. put mug on the kuerig

33. open the brew compartment

34. remove the used coffee k-cup 

35. put it in the k-cup recycling box

36. insert a fresh k-cup

37. close the brew compartment

38. get a pitcher

39. fill it with water from the fridge dispenser

40. refill the kuerig water reservoir

41. choose cup size to brew

42. push the brew button

43. open the pantry

44. put away the granola and raisins

45. close the pantry

46. take the toasted bread out of the toaster

47. put it on the plate

48. take the lid off the butter

49. use the knife to butter the toast

50. put the lid back on the butter

51. open the honey

52. use the knife to add it to one slice of toast

53. close the honey

54. cut the toast slices diagonally

55. pick up the plate

56. the bowl

57. the coffee

58. set it all on the table 

59. sit down in the chair 

60. and eat

61. collect the bowl & spoon

62. the plate

63. the knife from by the toaster 

64. set on counter

65. open dishwasher

66. put dishes in dishwasher

67. close dishwasher

68. pick up the dishcloth

69. turn on the faucet

70. wet the dishcloth

71. wipe the counters

72. rinse the dishcloth

73. wring it out

74. drape it to dry on the sink

I realize these are the privileges of a first-world, middle-class, retired woman. I am generally healthy, can move easily and have the financial resources to enjoy fruit even when it is out of season. I’ve lived 58 years and never before “counted” this type of daily ritual. I likely never will again. 

These simple actions are difficult or impossible for someone crippled by pain or injury. The ability to list them may be beyond the reach of someone with short term memory loss or mental illness. A depressed individual might not even be able to get out of bed. A homeless person wouldn’t have means to store perishables or to clean and store the dishes. A person with a demanding job might not have time to sit and eat in peace and certainly wouldn’t be mulling the idea of counting how many motions it takes to prepare breakfast. 

The request that God would teach us to number our days is from Psalm 90 – which also includes this beautiful appeal – one that has comforted me during times of very significant heartbreak:

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,

    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,

    for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;

    establish the work of our hands for us—

    yes, establish the work of our hands.

So what is the point?

I have just listed numerous things for which I can be grateful. I am teaching myself not to take the simple things for granted. I am numbering my motions so that I can number my moments and my hours and my days so that I can be wise in how many ways I expend my energy: serving myself, serving others. This is one way the work of my hands is established.

Some people knit or craft, I prefer to think philosophically and write. I am learning to never stop learning. To never take life, food, mobility, comfort, privilege (or even coffee) for granted. To be grateful. And to keep on doing what really counts.

Tomorrow, I go help clean the home of someone who can’t clean for themselves because they are planning a family member’s funeral. 

I won’t be counting anything but my blessings. I am wiser every time I do that.

What have you counted that has made you wiser?