My Story of Hope

In collaboration with #CanadaHope150, many people are sharing their stories of hope. A brief summary of my life (an interview with Les Moore) aired June 22 on AM700 The Light (CJLI). If you missed it live, you can listen by clicking HERE. Be sure to take time to listen to other stories of hope on the www.hope150.ca website.

This is not really about me, but rather it is the story of how God has carried me throughout life, in joy, in despair and everything in between. We are transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit in us. Sharing these stories with each other helps us see all the ways God heals, encourages, strengthens and leads. As followers of Jesus, we are not exempt from anything. What matters is our response to what happens and learning to trust God when we walk through trauma or through the valley of the shadow of death, or when we are in despair. There is always hope. The Lord is holding you even if you can't sense it. Hold on.

"Lord, to whom would we go? Only You have the words of eternal life." ~the Apostle Peter (John 6:68)

The Lie of Despair

Three years after. A wake up call for those who have lured by the fallacy that leaving this world would be better for everyone around them. Don't swallow that lie.

While I have intentionally moved on (to stay in the same place would be madness) and have found a (literal) new life, it does not devalue or minimize the horrific experience of losing someone you love due to suicide. Sometimes I can't breathe when I think about it and so I force myself not to dwell there except for the scheduled times when I'm writing. I made a conscious choice not to speak much of it on social media. Continued grief becomes more private as others have long since moved on. For me to continue drawing public attention to the pain seems gauche, although it is so oddly juxtaposed alongside a beautiful life that, at times, it also seems unthinkable that I should be so happy. I am learning to wrap it all - the grief, the joy, the lessons of each - in gratitude. But for those who think somehow that's a preferred outcome? I say this: It breaks survivors in ways we continue to discover with every new "first". It lives side by side with joy. It casts a very long, dark shadow. It blindsides and cripples for the rest of the life of everyone who loves you and it's all so completely unnecessary.

Here's a mild version of what we go through. I can't beat this drum loudly enough. Please. Don't take a permanent solution to a temporary situation.

Click to read:
Poem: The Lie of Despair



1-800-suicide
1-800-784-2433
Alberta's Mental Health Help Line is available 24 hours a day. Call 1-877-303-2642

Photo credit: depositphotos.com #23343800, standard license