I woke at 5 a.m.
This is becoming more frequent as I go to bed at a regular
time and am sleeping fairly well. It is not a bad thing. I am alert. I get up
to write “morning pages” – a mind dump to clear the cobwebs of random thoughts
– nothing to be read again, just a purging of whatever comes to mind. I
write a minimum of three pages, longhand, not on the computer.
Today it was six.
I’m a wrestler. A rationalist. A “please-help-me-understand”
debater. Yet understanding is overrated. Here, on earth, we can only ever know
“in part”. We “see through a glass darkly”.
I start thinking someone else is wrong and I list all the
reasons on pages one, two, three and then begin to see my arguments break down one at a time on page four and my
personal self-protective barriers fall and crash to the ground around my
blushing feet on page five and then I end on page six realizing the only thing that matters
is love and boy, do I ever need a refresher course on what that looks like so I
go to the seminal list in 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is not:
proud
self seeking
easily angered
Love doesn’t:
boast
envy
dishonor others
keep a record of wrongs
delight in evil
fail
Love is:
patient
kind
Love does:
rejoice with the truth
protects
trusts
hopes
perseveres
perseveres
Yeah. That.
Now I take that list and replace the word “love” with
my name. Ooomphhhh.
You try it with your name.
Pretty humbling.
No time to point fingers when I start listing all the ways I get to love...
Photo credit: Depositphotos.com 8723007, standard license
Photo credit: Depositphotos.com 8723007, standard license
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