Snoring, Smiling, and Snoopy (the dog)

It's not just snoring. It can cause high blood pressure, insomnia, behavioral issues, heart attack, heart failure and stroke. Sleep apnea can kill you. So when I lose the very thing that helps, I'm in trouble.

My family of origin has a genetic predisposition toward sleep apnea, where you basically stop breathing multiple times per night. Five of us have been diagnosed, others show symptoms they have, so far, successfully ignored. According to Mayo Clinic, an estimated 12 million American adults have obstructive sleep apnea, and many of them are undiagnosed.

In my moderate case, a "mandibular advancement splint" gives a degree of relief. While it sounds ominous, this is basically a dental appliance, a "night guard" similar to those used to stop teeth grinding or manage TMJ pain. Mine sets the lower jaw forward, opens up the airway, minimizes obstruction, and keeps me breathing. This is a very good thing.

Unfortunately, the splint is expensive and not covered by our provincial health care. Costs range in the thousands of dollars. The employer's insurance plan fortunately covers most of that cost for the initial splint, but not for loss.

One evening, a decade ago, my splint is not in its proper place. Now, it is not uncommon for me to set things in odd places (cue laugh track from Henry), so I patiently search. The most likely locations turn up nothing, the level of frustration rises; I scour every room in the house, nothing! I finally dig through the garbage, where it had once been found rolled up in a tissue, but not this time. I give up.

How could I lose it? $480 to replace! Oddly, the song going thru my head at that point said, "God will provide."

After the fitting for a new one, the dentist's office calls: "Insurance covered 90 percent. All you owe is $48!"

I share my happy ending, and my friend Heather (the Fairy Dog Mother, who dog-sits for vacationing friends) tells me she once found her night guard in the mouth of one of the dogs she was sitting. Fortunately, she was able to still use it -- after a thorough cleaning.

That triggers a memory between my mom and our family dog, Snoopy, who Mom barely tolerated for the sake of the boys. Mom wore a partial plate which was somewhat ill-fitting, so she'd occasionally remove it while eating. One day, Snoopy gets hold of Mom's partial plate, thinks it's a chew toy, and proceeds to break off a piece. Mom is so flustered, she grabs the two parts, examines them and then cries, "I don't think she's ruined it!" and pops the larger part in her mouth.

And then her eyes grow wide as she spits it out and splutters in horror: "I didn't wash it!"

After much scrubbing and rinsing, she fits it back in place. Emerging from the washroom, she exclaims, "Well, praise the Lord and thank the dog, it's more comfortable than before!" She used it for the rest of her life.

Fast forward to today. My splint is aggravating the roots of a molar, so I've not been wearing it since August. As you can imagine, my sleep has been affected. The next step is a root canal, and other dental procedures before we proceed to a refitting. This time, as a retiree, there is no employer's medical benefit. So I again am singing that song, "God will provide." I don't know how, but I'll trust God to figure it out.

One final note. If you snore a lot, and/or think you may have sleep apnea, consult your doctor. A sleep study will follow. This article may help in choosing your best route of management.




Cover Photo by Megan te Boekhorst on Unsplash
Dog Photo: "Snoopy" from the family archives, 1970.

Twelve Reasons You Might Be Unfriended on Facebook

Recently, several friends have declared that they’d had enough of Facebook and were leaving for good. The primary reason for one was that it seemed “Facebook (like cell phones) is very much like a giant angel food cake with thick creamy icing. It provides a huge amount of calories with almost no nutrition.”

I get this. There’s such a volume of frivolous posts to scroll through in my newsfeed or timeline. Even though I’ve systematically “unfollowed” a number of fringe acquaintances, there’s still a ton of verbage (with little substance) to get past before I can find the meaningful connections, informative or entertaining posts I enjoy.

Another friend feels that certain individuals share way too much. It takes the form of sniping, victimhood, emotions, rants, empty-headedness or oversharing of personal activities and information. “What motivates someone to be so confessional and all-revealing, or in other cases, to be so asinine or frivolous?” His conclusion falls within the bounds of Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote: “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Or along the same lines, from Maya Angelou: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

These friends are leaving Facebook because they don’t like how it makes them feel and/or how it affects their relationship with their family and friends.

I would guess most of us have experienced a negative reaction to a Facebook post. Sometimes, it’s about the one posting. It raises feelings of annoyance, disrespect, cynicism, outrage or incredulity. Sometimes it’s about us. It leaves us feeling targeted, shocked, criticized, minimized, disregarded, embarrassed, impotent to help the other. Any of these can breed frustration and alienation.

Do you respond to these posts? Scroll on by? Or do you quietly unfollow the poster? They’ll never know! Perhaps you unfriend them (which could cause some drama if you know them in daily life or you’re related to them). Maybe you’re willing to stick it out and just hope they grow up or change. If you care about them, do you try to privately help them understand their “over-sharing” is harming their reputation and your relationship?

Not everyone wants to know the intimate or mundane details of your life, your immediate emotional state of mind, the problem you have with your spouse/child/boss/in-laws/police/politician, what you ate for dinner, what bodily functions aren’t functioning, or your views on politics and religion. And that’s just for starters. The things that annoy people on social media are as diverse as the one billion people who use it every day.

I personally choose Facebook as my platform of choice to connect with far-away family and friends, to keep up with significant events and milestones, to learn how to pray for them and to privately message or video-chat with them on more personal matters. It has enabled me to connect with childhood friends, classmates and extended family members I never knew. But while this is my reason for staying on connected on this forum, there are significant drawbacks.

If I feel this way, I figure others do too, so I did a straw poll on my Facebook feed to ask others what annoys them enough to unfollow, unfriend or avoid certain Facebook friends. Here’s a few general categories, with actual examples.

Disclaimer: If you feel this is being targeted at you, it’s not. I have no personal vendetta and no desire to shame anyone. This is an application of the old saying, “If the shoe fits, wear it.” This is an opportunity to examine yourself closely in the mirror and give heed to what, perhaps, you could change about your online persona that may be affecting your reputation and creating significant rifts or irreversible damage to your relationships.

1. The Narcissist

Selfies here, selfies there, everywhere a selfie, selfie. “Here are 159 pictures from my vacation. Here’s one of me, up close, and one of us up close and twelve dozen of us far away and close up and all the rest are of me and us and all of our closest friends and our server up close and, oh, right, I almost forgot, here’s one picture of where we went.”

2. The Exhibitionist

“Look at me! Look at me! in all my pictures with as little clothing as possible. Or notice if I hold the camera at the right angle you can get a lovely view of my cleavage.”

“Here’s a picture of me in the bathroom mirror because it shows my abs so nicely, don’t you think? Of course I’m not telling you how many shots it took (100+) for me to get it just right.”

3. The Manipulator

“Like and share if you agree.”

“If you don’t share and post this on your page, you’ll be cursed.”

“If you’re not ashamed… share this post.”

“Everyone is touched by (insert name of disease here), so post this on your status for one hour to show your support.”

“If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand.”

4. Needy Nellie

“I don’t think anyone reads my status, can you post one word so I know you are reading my posts?”

“I wonder if I said ‘hello’, how many people would say it back?”

“No one in my entire church/community/club/team is helping me. I’m all alone and no one cares.”

“Can I get an ‘Amen’ or a thumbs up or a like and share?”

“Can I get 1 million likes for…(insert issue, cause or little kid picture)”

"I know no one will read this post...... let's find out who my real friends are."

"If you love me you'll comment on this post that I have obviously copied and pasted from other needy friends."

5. Clueless 

“I don’t know whether this post I’m sharing is true, but it sounds like it.”

“I share everything I read because I have no life or opinion of my own.”

6. The Zealot

“Here’s the latest product, ideology, philosophy, theology or cute quote which I like, use or believe is the best thing going and if you don’t like, use or believe the same, I’m on a higher moral plain than you and here are ten reasons why you’re an idiot.”

7. The Troll (aka The Hater)

“I disagree. And if you don’t agree with me, then I obviously haven’t explained myself well enough, so let me just repeat myself. If you still don’t agree after that, well, obviously you’re hard of hearing so let me just RAISE MY VOICE. And if you still are so numbskulled as to believe your viewpoint is right and mine is wrong, I will begin to call you names, use profanity and suggest you are a waste of skin.”

8. The Sales Call

“I have discovered the secret to everything, my life will never be the same, and I am spending the rest of my entire existence on Facebook trying to get you to become part of my multi-level-marketing organization.”

9. The Cryptic

“I can’t believe that just happened.”

“My life will never be the same.”

“I am in utter shock and disbelief.”

“Off to emergency room… pray!!!”

10. The Confessor

“I’ve done something terrible and I have to come clean.”

"Let me just tell you way more than you ever wanted to know about my private life."

11. The Braggart

Female: “Look at what my sweet honey bought me for Christmas/birthday/no reason because he’s just the most fabulous prince ever or because I manipulated and threatened him into it and he knows ‘happy wife, happy life’. LOLOLOLOL”

Male version: “See picture of me posing with hot car, hot bike, hot babes or cold beer.”

12. The Legalist

“Sign this (completely useless and ineffective) petition for (whatever pet issue of the day is creating outrage in my social circle).”

“If you don’t live your life in the way I describe, you are going straight to hell.”

"If you support that other political party, you are an idiot."

“If you don’t hear “Merry Christmas” from every retail clerk you encounter this season, you’re being persecuted.”

“I do not give Facebook permission to….”

* * * *

Well, I hope you had fun laughing with me through the ridiculousness of some of these items. I’m sure others can poke fun at me from their own perspective. The main thing is, let’s use technology in ways that help make relationships grow, not the opposite.

Have you experienced other types of posts that have tempted you to unfriend or unfollow someone?

Run Little Turkeys

For my American family and friends. Or for their turkeys. Shhhhh. Don't tell the cook.

Adrian Plass Encounters Temptation

Solution for the Energy Crisis: Living With Teenagers

Talk to the Hand

by Sue McMillan*

Paula Poundstone is a comedian and a mother. I always enjoy her comedic status updates on Facebook and today’s was so close to home, I thought I’d share the quote and the follow up comments from her Facebook friends.

Paula said:

“Why do we need oil, coal, or windmills? Can't we harness the power of the dramatic, despondent sighs of our teenagers?”

Comments:

Or the energy of their angst and temper flares? And everything it takes out of them when the world is coming to an end.

-Jean Crankshaw

I tried but the wires kept falling off...and cabling them up in parallel just leads to ... liberties. –Fin Time

I only wish! Our energy crisis would be solved. -Howie Ledford

Unfortunately, no. Scientifically speaking, that energy is offset by physical lethargy and internal apathy. Known also as "moms are such a drag" phenomena. -Dennis Vander Houwen

Just my two kids alone could power the DFW metroplex for the next 3 years. -Jim Cardenas

I’ve nearly completed my Angst/Ennui Hybrid. -C. Todd Mccormick

PMS power could work...Less whining and no lethargy/apathy problems. Just pure anger and energy! -Jackie Hodes Belcher

The other problem, of course, is what powers those sighs in the first place? You have to keep that engine stoked with all the contents of your fridge. -Skip Mendler

And if we could harness the kinetic energy of the eye rolls…

-Bobbee Lyn Gerson

*Art by Sue McMillan. Print available for purchase here.

Ringtones and Doorbells and Dingdongs, Oh MY!

For 15 year olds, life is all about the bells and whistles. Ringtones, game accessories, the right skis, the cool clothes. It's a mystery what makes one pair of jeans acceptable and the (seemingly identical) pair beside it unacceptable.

I took my son and his friend to Red Deer to water ramp. This alone is valid evidence that I have lost my mind. At least it would be if I were a mother who made decisions based on safety considerations. I blithely accepted the risks when I allowed him to join the freestyle ski club. Innocence is bliss.

“Water ramp” sounds simple, innocuous. But no, it looks like a ski jump on steroids, with a lip that throws the skier high into the air, where they are somehow able to organize their limbs into complex spins and somersaults before they smack the water with their skis. It simulates aerials for freestyle skiing. One must "qualify" a particular trick on water in front of a certified coach before he or she can attempt to qualify on snow.


Last weekend was my son’s first venture at this and thankfully his friend’s mother takes it upon herself to educate me about the requirements.

“So,” she says, on the phone at 10:30 pm as we’re packing for the next day, “Does he have all his equipment?"

It sounded a bit ominous, so I asked "Just in case, can you run through the list with me?"

"Sure," I'm sure I hear a bit of sympathy in her tone, "He'll need his skis, of course. Safety straps to hold them to his boots when he hits the water. Helmet, drysuit, warm underlayering, and a life jacket or PFD.” My mind begins to reel as I scramble for a pen.

“Oh,” she continues, “and he’ll need to bring money to pay the Red Deer club for the use of their ramp.”

I’m shocked. “Didn’t I pay for a season pass to water ramp?”

“Oh, yes,” she confirms, “but that was for Canada Olympic Park, not Red Deer. Each ski club has its own ramp with its own fees. Your pass is for COP only. Though our club may credit your back these fees since our ramp is out of service.”

Side note: The reason the ramp is out of service is because a parent who wasn’t willing to accept the risks of freestyle called the Health Region to express concerns about water quality in the man-made landing pond. The Heath Region promptly shut down the pond until a filter could be installed, but then didn’t have an inspector available to classify the pond so that the club could acquire the appropriate filter. In the meantime, all the skiers suffer with no ramp to practice. It was closed all of August and, so far, all of September. It might open September 17.

So I got off the phone at 10:45 pm and we began to look for the PFDs buried in the garage, the helmet buried somewhere and the new drysuit which I had rush-shipped up from Washington State for the wee shipping fee of $97.84 on UPS. We all got to bed around 2 am, after a rousing voice raising discussion as to who should know where everything was stored.

That was last weekend. I drove him up and came home to work on my publishing deadline (all night). He spent the night with his friend's grandparents and his friend's family brought him home.

This Sunday, we drive 300 km round trip to Red Deer, throw him into the pack of other club skiers (Red Deer, Jasper) and they all spent some fabulous sunny days sliding, spinning, flipping and splashing. He qualified on front flips. See facebook later this week for the video. I got some time to visit with other ski parents, take video, soak up the sun and duck down to Olds for a baby dedication.

All in all it was a pretty fun weekend, and he only lost one ski. In the bottom of the pond. He lost it last week and found it again. This week it was the other ski. Lost forever in the murky depths. Unless I drive up and dive for it myself now that the water isn't being stirred up by skiers... (wait, reality check... I haven't lost my mind that badly).

So my son is joining me on this "losing my mind" venture. Either that or the smack into the pond rattled more than just his ski bindings.

Last night as we were having supper, I wanted to have music playing. I took my Ipod to the Bose speaker to dock it and just as the music began to blare, the doorbell rang. My son, who apparently hadn't noticed my prior movements, exclaimed: "Did the doorbell just trigger the music?"

Now back to my own journey over the edge of reason….

As I drove back from Red Deer yesterday, music started playing. Rather loudly. (What IS it with our family and music?)

I looked at the radio. It was off. I looked at my son. He was sleeping, Ipod earbuds in ear. I tried not to drive off the road. Where is the music coming from? I couldn’t imagine. Was someone going by and broadcasting by FM transmitter into my vehicle? Impossible. The radio was off.

My son woke as my anxiety level increased. “Where IS that music coming from?” I was nearly screeching by now.

“Mom,” his voice was a little annoyed. “It’s your ring tone.”

I had changed the ring tone for incoming calls from our home number. I didn’t remember what it sounded like. My poor husband, on the other end of the unanswered call, is wondering why I don’t pick up. My son looks at me wondering if I’ve totally lost it. I wonder if he’s right and come here to record the epic saga.

For 15 year olds, it’s about ring tones and for 50 year olds, it’s about brain calisthenics. Freestlye aerials of lucidity. At least I can still laugh at myself. Someone has said when you lose the ability to do that, other should begin laughing at you.

Stop it. I can hear you from here.

.

The Best Medicine

It is always a good idea to laugh at home with your kid. This cartoon gave us both giggles.

Zits, Sunday, April 22

Need a laugh?

Watch this for a little bit:

glumbert.com