Thursday, November 03, 2005

Truth Telling

Our study Tuesday was on truth telling. Though I was raised in a manner that thoroughly convinced me that lying was a death trap, it was still an hour's worth of discussion that raised far more discomfort with me than it should have.

Transparency is something I value. That is telling the truth about ones self. But telling the truth about other s without love or without concern for another's feelings can lead to other problems. Not that I am advocating stretching the truth. It just means I have to be more thoughtful in how I phrase what needs to be said.

Isn't it inevitable that no matter how much love we surround our comments with, there is someone who will be offended or will misunderstand? Some of them wield their pain as a hammer. Others, I think, actually go out looking for ways to hold things against you - part of their need for control.

But then, some of us wield our truth like a weapon. Part of our need for control and feeble attempts at eliciting change.

My friend M gave me the best advice ever regarding truth telling in marital relations: "If you could just learn to ZIP it!"

James says it even stronger: James 3:6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

So, perhaps zipping my lips is a better choice after all.... does that mean I have to give up my blog?

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