The Hard Part

My late husband suffered from depression and anxiety. He managed it well most of his life through self-control, hard work and tenacity, living a full and productive life, maintaining great relationships and attaining a modicum of success in his career in such a way that most people would never have known. Eventually, though, it got the better of him.

I've actually been asked questions like, "Which came first, anxiety or depression?" and "Was it a chemical imbalance, or was it flawed thinking?" and in less personal ways, those who experience mental health issues have faced the judgmental question, "Why couldn't you just trust Jesus?" These questions are all unhelpful and have no clear answer.

If you've even barely experienced this personally, you likely understand that there's no clear answer. You feel a little blue one day and don't perform as well as you would like. It continues longer than usual and you begin to get anxious about it. Then you become more discouraged because you are so uptight. As Christians, some of us were raised with the expectation that if we "just trust Jesus," we won't be depressed. I looked around at my life and all my physical and material comforts and thought, "My life is great, I have everything I need and more, there is NO reason why I should be unhappy." This leads to feelings of guilt for feeling sad and questions rise about my level of faith, chalking this up as just one more way I was falling short in my life. Shame and self-condemnation increase our feelings of failure, which brings more despondency, which creates anxiety, and thus begins a cycle that rapidly goes down a very dark path.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether depression or anxiety came first for me, or what caused things to spiral out of control. They both existed and they both grew.

Brent experienced a depression so dark and an anxiety so great that his mind began to convince him there was something wrong that couldn't be fixed. His general thought was, "Why seek medical help? Why take medication? Why consider psychological counselling? What's the point? I'm broken and I can't be fixed." This hopelessness shows in retrospect how much the disease had already changed his perception of reality.

An all-too-common catch phrase in certain Christian denominations is: "Jesus plus nothing." This has been erroneously used as an argument against seeking medical or psychological assistance for mental or emotional health issues. While it is true in the doctrine of salvation: it is through trusting Jesus alone that we receive salvation, it is not true with respect to the healing of physical or emotional illness. Insisting it is "Jesus plus nothing" for a broken leg, diabetes, or other physical ailments? This would be irresponsible. It is just as wrong to insist this is a rule regarding mental/emotional health.

God has provided science and medicine to assist in dealing with health issues of the body and mind. In our practical human experience, we need the community of professionals who are trained and familiar with the realities of our physical bodies, including the inter-workings of our brain, and the expert training of doctors who have expertise in these areas.

We are bearers of God's image. We are instructed in the scriptures to love God with all our heart (emotions), soul (spirit), mind (brain/intellect) and strength (body). Thus, we practice responsible stewardship and self-care in all these areas, in how we treat our physical bodies (how we care for them, what we put into them or on them, whether we get sufficient rest and proper nutrition, protecting ourselves from stress or overwork, etc.). While our thoughts and emotions can affect our physical body, our bodies can also affect our thoughts and emotions, and our spiritual condition can as well. It is all so integrated, we need a balanced and holistic approach, along with spiritual practices of worship, gratitude, prayer, and study of God's word. Relying on wisdom and discernment from the Holy Spirit in how we live our daily lives.

We are complex and amazing creatures. To say we could do all the right things and visit all the right medical, psychological or spiritual "experts" in order to be healed is to be foolish and presumptive. But if we are in that dark spiral, losing hope, we absolutely need to seek assistance. If you are there, do whatever you can to seek assistance in dealing with your particular situation. Ask a friend. Ask your doctor.

Please, do this. For God's sake and the sake of those who love you.