Monday, October 09, 2006

The School of Faith vs. Anxiety Avenue

I almost drifted off and then realized the thing keeping me awake was a gnawing anxious feeling in my stomach. Since I have been unaware of such a feeling for most of the last 6 months, it was a little disconcerting, yet I couldn't put my finger on the cause.

"Perhaps it's having a house full of company for Thanksgiving tomorrow," my hubby suggested. With my mother in law doing most of the cooking, that wasn't it.

Work is on my mind a little. Trying to remember the two things I need to ensure I do my first day back on Wednesday.... Thinking that having Tuesdays off isn't a good thing when there's a long weekend with a holiday on Monday.... but no, that's not really it either.

My son going mountain biking tomorrow. Aha. That touched a nerve. Two crashes in two visits does mess with a mother's mind, especially when one required half a day in emergency, 2 xrays and 13 stitches. Before I panicked, I thought it best to get up and clear my head, offering this "problem" to God as He is the only one who can do anything about it.

Oh, I could forbid my son to go. And he would be upset and we would have a big discussion. Or I can give him the freedom to choose his recreation (within reason) and suffer the consequences if he chooses poorly. But what to do with my anxiety....

My devotional for the day was Elisabeth Elliot talking of her own anxiety and saying:
If I can't give thanks, trust, and worship the Lord in every "season," in the face of any set of facts which may touch my life, I am not really a believer. It is here, in my corner of God's earth, that I am assigned my lessons in the School of Faith.
Lord help me let my son grow in wisdom, stature and in favor with God and man. May I not withhold from him the lessons You may have planned by trying to shield him from any possible injury or mistake. Help him to develop good judgement through practice and help him learn from his mistakes. Protect him for the work you have planned for him and give him joy and freedom in your grand and glorious creation. Amen.

Encourage one another,

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