Sunday, January 25, 2009
Early last week I was overwhelmed by the sense that I had overcommitted. Too many activities, too little time at home taking care of duties. Part of it was that one commitment was a team effort and the other team member had been sidelined through no fault of her own. In that realm I went immediately to my fallback position, ODSR syndrome: Over Developed Sense of Responsibility: Take it all on. If I don't do it, who will?
Woah, put on the brakes. Only a few weeks ago when I resigned my day job, it was so that I could take better care of my family, my home & myself AND to have more time to write. Well, the last two items have absorbed most of my time. Writing and writing related items (planning a workshop, taking courses, writing, researching markets, attending critique groups) as well as getting myself back to good health (lots of rest, revised nutritional intake, exercise, rest, retreat, more rest). Granted, these are good things, but moderation is the goal. I also need to focus on more attention to the first two.
Then Thursday I became aware that I was enveloped by an uncharacteristic sense of peace. No anxiety. No urgency. To have this experience in the middle of a week when I was feeling somewhat overwhelmed - well, I can only say it was a gift. Perhaps someone is praying. Perhaps God knew it was a gift I needed, even without me asking. All good and perfect gifts come from Him.
Saturday I worked with my husband to organize the storeroom. I no longer have anything in there we don't need. We know what is in each box and it is clearly marked on the outside. We now have space to arrange the spare sofa set so that this room can become the games room. Books, printed music and magazine collections will all have a place before the end of the week. My office closet is now mostly clear in preparation for the same process as the storeroom.
In addition this week I was asked to take on two projects. One, a drama for the spring. Two, co-teaching a weekly class in the fall. Wow. Both exciting. Both intimidating. The only way to sort through this and decide if I should say yes or no is to ask for wisdom.
So, move over schedule. Move along duties. While I follow my schedule and do my duties, I shall be asking. I shall also be making time to be still.
Isn't it interesting? Three months ago, I signed up my husband and I for Break Forth, the largest equipping and renewal conference in North America. On Friday we will be attending a day-long spiritual formation seminar and then spend the weekend enjoying amazing speakers, musicians and breakout sessions. Ahhhh. Just what the Great Physician ordered.
Even though I smell like a sheep, he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. (Psalm 23)