Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Band Camp that wasn't

It’s not mandatory. Three days and 2 nights away from school for band rehearsals and “bonding” time. Lots of fun. Expensive. Level of supervision unknown. Misses guitar lessons, misses one ice time, has to get missed class work and assignments for 21 class periods.

“Am I an overprotective mother for not letting him go?”

“Probably” husband replies, “but I agree.”

“I am okay if you don’t think I should go” son says.

I analyze. Past behavior is an accurate predictor of future behavior:

He always comes home sick from retreats and camps.
Late lights out mean less sleep and less sleep means less self control.
Missed classes = missed information and missed assignments = lower grades.
He hasn’t been using his agenda as requested to track his assignments.
Too much to keep track of means some things get forgotten. Consequences vary.
Lack of supervision among 13 & 14 year olds mean foolish things happen.

On the other hand, he’d have fun. He’d do some bonding. He might even learn the music a little sooner. I pray for wisdom. I read Proverbs.

The cons outweigh the pros. I say son doesn’t go.

But then on the way to school: “The only reason I signed up for band was for the extra stuff.”

I quietly cry. No Kleenex. Son hears my sniffles, takes my hand and holds it until we get to school. I could tell him everything I feel but I don’t know if it would make any difference. Nothing more is said.

Why is it so hard to say no? I love him totally and I only want to do what is best for him. How hard it is to be a parent of an only child. The Perfectionist whispers: “Only one chance to get it right. You could screw him up royally if you get it wrong.” Wisdom whispers: “Trust in the Lord. Don’t trust your own understanding.”

I didn’t cave.

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