Dr. Bernstein

Medically supervised, healthy weight reduction program supported by over the counter vitamin supplements and B-6 injections. Extreme, expensive, effective.

So, in 8 days I have reached my 2 week target weight. The pounds are falling off and I'm not hungry. That is not to say that I haven't had cravings. Or desired the fabulous food sitting in front of me. Or wanted to lick my fingers while making supper for my family.

But I am realizing on my own that eating too much and too wrong is, bottom line, a bad habit that I learned at my mother's side from my earliest days. On this program, my needs are being met. I get more protein than I would normal want. I get more vegetables than I want. And Jello light is better than Lindt chocolates. I looked long and hard today in Wal-Mart at the rows of different low calorie candies made without sugar. Then I decided it would simply reinforce my bad snacking habit and would ultimately undermine my greater desire for good health.

It was a cold turkey paradym shift. I have sleep apnea. It could kill me, or worse yet, cause a stroke and leave me an invalid. Losing weight is the first best step to reduce the severity. I have high blood pressure. It could kill me, or worse yet, cause a stroke... etc. Losing weight is the first best step toward normal pressure. I have acid reflux. Losing weight is the first best step. I want to ski again. Losing weight is the only way. I want more energy. Ditto. I am growing old. Losing weight has nothing to do with anything here, but I believe I will not feel so old when I am at my "normal" body weight.

For 12 years this issue has been too sensitive for me to talk about, let alone do something. Perhaps it was the health issues, perhaps it has something to do with B not seeing much light in his world right now, perhaps the fact that A just turned 13 (and is easily embarrassed) was a contributing factor to my paradym shift.

No one really notices. Except when I decline dinner invitations and say I'll come later to visit. I explain to some, to others I don't.

But I notice. And I smile. And I don't feel like pulling the covers back over my head quite so often nowadays.