Sunday, January 15, 2012

Self-Diagnosis and Joy

This is an off day. Sometimes being joyful just isn't what I want to do. I think it's a chemical imbalance. Or, perhaps it is dysthymia. I have been doing some reading on this condition. It was suggested by someone who knows me well as a possible diagnosis. Basically, it's long-term, low grade depression. It often goes for decades before someone seeks treatment.

That's a big "hmmm" for me.

So, I see my doctor in a couple of weeks and I will discuss with him possible treatment plans.
Update, Jan. 30: No prescription. Generally good health. Great discussion with my spouse tonight about changes we need to make. Great weekend at BreakForth, hearing from inspiring speakers and God.

In the meantime, I continue to count gifts.

44. It was 4°C or  39.2°F. In other words, beautiful.

45. Changing the light fixtures on our back deck. This is a double gift. a) I have the ability, knowledge and desire to install the fixtures and b) we have the funds and location which make it possible to do quickly without hesitation.

46. An extraordinary measure of God's grace was two phone calls and one Facebook message from women who love me and share a common bond as mothers of similar sons to my own. I asked their advice and they gave me their undivided attention and counsel.

47. Another grace is women who love me who may have daughters or no children at all. I am blessed.

48. I continue to be blessed by our son and his maturity, thought processes, loyalty to friends, ability to memorize, to plan, to create music, to care for those less fortunate. He makes such a delightful contribution to life.

Oh joy, that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee.
I trace the rainbow through the rain
and feel the promise is not vain,
that morn shall tearless be.

-George Mattheson

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