Empty Nest

Our son came into the kitchen late the other night, musing about where he might get a job once he's settled at university. He also had purchased snow skis earlier that day so he can "ski every weekend possible." The job is only necessary to pay for the gas it will take him to get to the ski hill. I don't bother reminding him that university is for study and when would he be planning to do that if he's working and skiing? I don't remind him because I already have. Several times.

"Of course, school is my priority," he insists.

But a mother worries. I see the gaps where he doesn't know what he doesn't know. He's optimistic like I was about how much effort things take and how little time one needs to allow to get them done. I wish I had been a better example, but I did the best I could.

After he left the kitchen, I got a sense of how quiet and lonely the house would be without him. And now I know what empty nest syndrome could become. I need to prepare my heart and mind for what the new thing is that God will be doing in my life and with my time and talents. I will still be involved in as much of our son's life as he needs or wants but I remember what I was like at that age. I have my journals to remind me. I didn't spend a summer at home until my last year of college. I didn't miss it either. But I knew home was there if I needed.

It's part of that independent spirit. Growing up. Becoming who God calls us to be, "having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we...might be for the praise of his glory." Eph. 1:11-12

So often we ask "What is God's will?" about this or that. The apostle tells us in Ephesians 1:11 and Romans 8:28 that according to His plan, whatever we do works into a pattern for our good. He ensures that the ripples of our actions and choices and their impact confirm to this purpose: that we bring Him glory. Next time you want to know what the will of the Lord is, ask yourself this: "In this situation, what will bring God the most glory?" And you will know His will.

I know God has a purpose and a plan for our son, just as he does for me. God loves him more than I ever could. God is in charge, I can trust him. This is the essence of the gospel.

It's also the solution for Empty Nest Syndrome.


(photo courtesy Limelight Photography - posted with permission)

Tiptoe through the Tryouts

Now that the hockey team has been picked, we can finally deal with the ingrown toenail. Andrew just didn't want anything done before tryouts were over. He missed all but first period of school today so we could get the toe taken care of before the infection gets out of hand. Those size 13 feet crammed into skates five days a week just don't leave much room for anything else.

Now I have to go get his prescription filled at the 24 hour drug store because I forgot all about it during normal human hours.

At least the infected toe gave the Sports Medicine teacher something to take a picture of - it will go on the "Wall of Pain" along with other sports injury photos.

Nothing like making a class relate to real life!

My Son the Nun

The school musical was.... a success.

They pulled it off. Once again.

How three teachers and a handful of junior high students do it, I'll never know. But it was great. And my son showed no shyness at all. I do believe it was typecasting to give him the part where the character's theme song is: "I just wanna be a star!"

Pictures to come.

First Day of Summer Vacation? (A mini-rant)

I can't believe it. I was reading someone else's blog and they said their kids were out of school for summer. It snowed here yesterday.* I don't even have my bedding plants out yet. Looking at the calendar, I realize that 25+ years in Canada have re-tuned my clock to only 2 months of summer.

I don't know why Canadian schools stay in session until the end of June. Perhaps it is because they can. Where I grew up in southern Missouri, my schools weren't air conditioned and it was a semi-tropical climate. We sweltered in the heat. Canadian weather, on the other hand, never really requires air conditioning (except, perhaps, for 2 days in late July), never justifies a swimming pool (except, perhaps, if it is indoors) and allows students to go to school year round (a common thing in some areas, as apparently shorter more frequent vacation breaks mean students have better retention and take less review at the beginning of each new grade.)

When an unnamed source chose to make a very opinionated statement about the Canadian educational system being much better than American, I asked why. The reply? "Because they go to school a month longer every year."

Puh-LEEEZuh!

The speaker obviously was the poster child for why longer is not necessarily better.

*Just for the record, that is a record even for my Canadian home town.

The West Coast Trip

The grade nine students in my son's school were all given the option of a trip to the coast to take part in "School at Sea" aboard the Edgewater Fortune, a converted Canadian military minesweeper. Pre-work included weekly meetings and four months of preparation and study on West Coast history, navigation and biodiversity. My son and his two best buddies chose to go. As roommates, they shared the smallest cabin on the lowest deck and forged the biggest memories.

The took a 12 hour bus ride out and back. After arrival, they boarded the boat and motored around the Georgia Strait among the Gulf Islands, stopping to do shore studies on Salt Spring Island and visiting island towns like Ganges. Each night the boat would anchor and they all slept on board, lulled to sleep by the cry of gulls and the slapping of water against the hull.

They learned navigational skills, crewed the boat (each had a specific duty - his was launching the punt boats), completed scientific shore studies, observed wildlife, went fishing, trapped crabs, dug clams and hung out together onboard playing cards and having a good time. They were required to keep a daily log of activities and memories. He took some pretty good photos which I've placed in the slide show below.

His favorite day was the beach cookout. They cooked the crabs, split them in half and let each student figure out how to enjoy the delicious crab meat. Then they finished it off around the campfire by making S'mores.

A great way to connect with nature, your classmates and your best friends - it was the trip of a lifetime.

High School

My son signed up for his high school classes today. It was intriguing to hear the rationale for his choices. For a young person who is not excited by learning, he has chosen very little play.

AP English
I love writing and reading.

Pure Math
They said AP Math was for students who really LOVE Math. I can do it, I just don't love it.

Social 10-1
I like socializing, not Social Studies.

Science 10
I won't be doing anything in the field of Science.

Phys Ed

No brainer, it's mandatory and I love it.

All require >80%. His optional courses in order of his priority were:

Legal Studies
I might want to become a police officer or lawyer.

Sports Medicine
The 20 hours as a junior trainer could be partly done with my hockey team.

Drama
I'm good at it.

Communication Technology
I want to keep my options open, to check out what I might like. It's a good fall back course if I don't get one of my top three.

When I commented that 3 of the 4 were not the kind of fun courses I thought he might enjoy, he replied "Well, I need to be thinking about what kind of career I might go into and get as much training in that as I can."

What is near miraculous is that I've almost learned enough to just give input when he asks and keep my biases out of it. I enjoyed music so much, I'm just a little twinged with angst that he doesn't find that appealing. He knows his own heart and head though. I'm learning to trust that he can handle the consequences of his choices.

The Dance

He got into the car, breathless from hurrying.

"This was probably the best day of school so far. Ever," he crowed.

"So you enjoyed Phys Ed today? How did the dance go?" I asked.

He proceeded to give me all the details. How the teacher used him as the model to teach new moves. How she was marking the class for their term grade and took certain girls from other partners to pair them with him so that she could evaluate them as they danced "with a partner who really knows how to lead." I listened silently, astounded that he was actually TALKING to me.

"And Mom," he continues, "She danced with me a couple of times and said I was a better dancer than Mr. W!"

Mr. W is the most outspoken PhysEd teacher who didn't like him much last year and said so: "But I like you a lot better now!" He was involved teaching this segment of PhysEd and commented: "You've really got the moves! You're probably the best dancer I've seen in this Phys Ed class yet!"

"Too bad the French students won't be there tomorrow," A sighed.

"Why is that?" I asked, already knowing his favorite dance partner was in the French program.

He rolled his eyes. "All the best looking girls are in French. Why does their schedule not include PhysEd on Fridays?" He banged the dashboard for frustrated emphasis.

"And of course," I sarcastically corrected: "An attractive physical appearance is the MOST important characteristic any girl could possibly have."

"Of course," he smirked, getting my point completely. "There are a couple of pretty girls in English, too, but the rest of them are smart."

The conversation then detoured down Parent Lecture Lane, regarding the imperitive of "How to Evaluate A Prospective Mate" with short illustrated detours down Quality Character cul de sac, Spiritual Values Avenue and Work Ethic Street.

Believe me, he'll need a smart one. One that can support him in the style to which he has become accustomed.