All Saints Day: Where does that leave me?

Treasured times in life include those mornings where Henry and I chat over coffee. As the sun rises, the cloud and sky morph through an infinite spectrum of colour from darkness to light, and we discuss, debate, and dabble in a vast set of interlinked subjects and concepts from personal joy or frustration to theological concepts or hilarious comedy. These quiet moments hone my heart, sharpen my thinking, strengthen my marriage and grow my love for God, for truth, and for my husband.

Today on All Saints’ Day, the conversation morphed, not through the list of well-known miracle workers, but through the necessity of humble unrewarding tasks, the clarity of knowing where we are to serve, our attitudes, the importance of an ordered life, in productive functions and whether rest is productive or not. We listened to British poet Malcolm Guite and a watched a video interview on The Lost World of Genesis One by American theologian John Walton.

There was more discussed today, but the primary epiphany was this: how glibly we glide past those who humbly serve in silence, who deliver our coffee, who keep statistics, balance the books, care for little ones, clean the road signs or paint the street lines, clean the toilets…

Here is where true sainthood is born. The miracle of a life spent faithfully executing one’s assigned tasks, in the humblest setting, without recognition or thanks. The discipline of doing what is often taken for granted, rarely noticed, yet done with a willing, patient, uncomplaining spirit. Perhaps “anyone could do it,” but they don’t. So these quiet saints plod pleasantly along, making life more bearable for thousands who rarely if ever realize, acknowledge or express thanks.

St. Therese of Lisieux is one of the patron saints of missions, not because she ever went anywhere, but because of her special love of missions, and the prayers and letters she gave in support of missionaries. She lived only 24 years and was an obscure nun for nine of those. She loved flowers and gave glory to God by just being her beautiful little self among all the other flowers in God's garden.

The world came to know Therese through her autobiography, Story of a Soul. She lived each day with an unshakable confidence in God's love. "What matters in life," she wrote, "is not great deeds, but great love." This is reminder to all of us who feel we can do nothing, that it is the little things that keep God's kingdom growing.

So persevere, my friend. Look alone to your own personal task. Remember the Saviour who did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life. (Matthew 20:28). Forget what is behind, disregard what others are doing or telling you to do or not do, eliminate comparisons from your mind (we always are on the losing end, our private life and personal stumbles held alongside others’ highlight reels).

Press on.  Do the next thing.

Cover Photo by Christian Battaglia on Unsplash

So You Wanna Lead Worship?

There he is, on all fours, cloth in hand, spray cleaner by his side. His face is not visible. He’s unaware of the camera. His friend confides, “Part of his process every week—in preparing for leading us in worship—is hand-scrubbing the sanctuary floor underneath each seat.”

* * * *

Her talented young adult daughter is settling into a new church in her new university town, far from home. She calls to relay the latest: “The music leader listened to me audition, then said they need someone to vacuum the children’s classrooms every Sunday morning before church as part of the worship team training.” She accepts the role eagerly and is then placed on a worship team.

* * * *

Watch him shift back and forth from the leg with the titanium knee to the other one he’s having replaced next year before he retires from his blue-collar job. See how he stretches his twice-broken back every hour or so? Wipes the sweat off his face regularly during the 12 hours a day he leans over that hot camp stove, chopping board or steaming dishwater in the camp kitchen? Watch him give a full week of his “vacation” every year to do this so 130 campers can hear about Jesus.

* * * *

She’s often late to choir rehearsals, English isn’t her first language, she struggles to find and keep the proper pitch. But she prays with fire and enters in to the time of music with abandon, shouting at the end of the songs like she’s in the bleachers at a game and the home team just scored.

* * * *

He's a prolific songwriter, preparing to record an album of worship songs. He doesn't stand on a platform, in the spotlights, doesn't sell tickets to the theatre seating. He seats his band in the congregation. On the floor, everyone together, sings and worships the Audience of One. 

* * * *

They shuffle in for drama auditions, fill out a slip with name and contact info. Then there’s that question: “Would you accept a smaller role in order to allow more people to participate?”

She swallows hard. “If I say no”, she muses, “I might not get any role. But I really want that one role. It would be my heart’s desire to play that role.” She is offered a smaller role and she wrestles hard, then accepts it as a gift. “God works in all things for the good of those who love him.”

* * * *

They’re arguing like brothers, the whole lot of them. They jostle and joke, poke fun at each other’s foibles as they walk down the dusty path. How much further is it?!  As always, on a road trip, debates rise about who’s strongest, fastest, best at healing the sick, greatest in faith.

After they were settled at the end of the journey, Jesus turns and asks, “What were you arguing about?”

Awkward silence. Nothing but crickets.

Then he looks each one of his closest comrades in the eyes as he speaks. Not a one can hold his gaze before dropping their head as they hear: “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:33-35)

* * * *

Earlier in the week before the disciples argued, Jesus taught the entire crowd, including these rowdy disciples, some of the principles of the kingdom:

“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?”  (Mark 8:34-37)

In Matthew 20:20-28 we see the mother of James and John asking they be given a special place in the coming kingdom. They didn’t know the cost – his coming suffering and death. They were seeking a costless glory and causing dissension among the other disciples.

Jesus replies that only his Father would grant that request and outlines the cost of greatness: “…whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Still wanna lead worship?

It’s not about leading. 

It’s about following.

It’s not about personal advancement,

it’s about personal sacrifice.

It’s not about the crowds,

spotlights, footlights or limelight.

It’s about suffering and service.

It’s not about getting the role you want,

it’s about worshipping with your entire self

the only One who is worthy.

Still wanna lead worship?

Hear my voice when I call, Lord;

    be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

    Your face, Lord, I will seek. (Psalm 27:7-8)

There is a danger for those of us in the organized church to pursue "spiritual success", driven by the pride of life and a natural desire for the applause of people. I must lose myself in God for himself alone. Nothing else. No one else. Only then will his work be accomplished for his glory and not mine. I cannot judge my own humility. I must keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. When I am most humble, most sincerely worshiping, most unselfishly serving, I will not be aware of it, for my eyes will be focused on him. It is out of a love relationship that humility, worship and service spring. For God and God alone.



Soli Deo Gloria.

*image of "SDG" at the end of a G.F. Handel manuscript. Public domain. Source: Wikipedia. 

Re-Remembering

My soul daughter and I

I want to remember these moments, Part 2 

(read Part 1 here)

Andrew and Rebecca's pre-wedding week was a rush, literally. We forced ourselves to drive the speed limit while running errands. There’s no point, really, ever, to exceeding the speed limit. I’m learning in my later years to accept the reality that if I am “behind schedule”, going faster is only going to cause more problems, so I exhale, relax and face the consequences. Usually, it’s a false sense of urgency that drives me to think I have to rush, but as my momma always said, “Haste makes waste” and as my daddy liked to quote: “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get”. I'm not sure what that even means, except I know when I rush, I inevitably forget something or drop something and make a mess or get a speeding ticket or (God forbid) even get into a collision.

We arrived in Langley on Monday before the big day Friday. We had already been on the road for a week, sightseeing, visiting museums and wineries and spending some slow, savory time together on vacation, getting ourselves mentally geared up for the rush of wedding week with all its bustle and people. We took a room at the Ramada for two nights, until our VRBO reservation was ready, which we would share with my brothers beginning on Wednesday when they arrived.

http://www.porterscoffeehouse.ca/

Every morning, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, we headed over to Porter’s for breakfast. This is the café so capably run by Rebecca's parents. The first day, Tuesday, we met up with my son (the groom), his bride, her mother and several Danish and Dutch relatives who had arrived in town for the wedding and wanted a chance to get acquainted. Such delightful folks. It reminded me again about the beautiful scripture God gave me when I was widowed, which found it’s fulfillment, first in my marriage to Henry and now in Andrew’s marriage to Rebecca - how God “sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68:6). I still am moved by the sensations of love and laughter and warmth of family that surrounded us that day and the days following.

I spent Tuesday with the groom, running errands while Rebecca was working. While Henry bonded with the bride’s father running various errands, I went with Andrew to look for socks and a tie, and then dropped his vehicle off at the Honda dealership to have the air conditioning serviced. It had broken down during their trip back to BC from Calgary in July. Since the long range forecast for the Langley area included +38C temperatures for the coming week, I couldn’t imagine not having A/C. 

We made a stop at Staples to duplicate some photos and look for a special folder in which the wedding license could be placed for safekeeping. To our pleasant surprise, we ran into Aunt Elsje at Staples, collecting the wedding ceremony programs she had designed. 

They have a lovely cover and back (with photos of the couple) 

These then fan out to reveal three pages inside (wedding party, order of ceremony and lyrics for the hymn), all anchored by a decorative fastener. 

Much love and labor went into this souvenir.

We had a quiet evening taking a dip in the pool and a soak in the hot tub at the hotel before heading for bed. The next morning we packed up and checked out and met Andrew and his roommate, my soul-son, Fraser, for breakfast at Porters. 

This day, Wednesday, found Henry bonding with Bill by visiting Bill’s barber and both having their heads shaved. Bill always keeps this look, and it wasn’t the first time Henry had done this and I really like the look. He says he’ll let his hair grow for “warmth and traction” in the winter but I think the “Mr. Clean” look is definitely hip. The rest of the day included more errands and checking into our lovely VRBO home in Surrey, about halfway between the bride’s home in Langley and the wedding venue in Pitt Meadows. It had four bedrooms and two baths and a kitchen fully stocked with everything but food.  We purchased some groceries and coffee for breakfasts for the six of us who would be staying there.

Danielle, Karin and Rebecca get the royal treatment

In the late afternoon I had been invited to join the mani-pedi excursion with the bridesmaids, bride and her mother. To be included in this event was such an honor and it was great fun to hear the girls chatting and preparing for the big day.  When my brother Jim and sister in law Sheilia arrived later from Colorado, they went out for supper with Henry and then relaxed at the rental house until I returned. Steve and Wanda arrived from North Carolina after midnight, which was nearly 2 a.m. by their normal Eastern Time Zone, but Wanda and I immediately sat down to catch up – oh, the fun of “sisters” after being apart for a year. Wanda stood up for me at my wedding last August.

Centrepieces over Vinyl Record Albums

Thursday was pretty much all business. We had volunteered to take a jaunt to the east side of Chilliwack to pick up chair covers, and then later morning we spent picking up take-n-bake pizza, veggie trays and fruit trays from Costco and delivering them to the refrigerators at Porters in preparation for dinner for family and bridal party after the rehearsal. After that, everyone headed for the venue to decorate and rehearse.

The aunts doing décor placed one part of the centrepieces on each table, awaiting the floral part the next day. Each one was to be adorned by photos of the bride and the groom at the age that equates with the table number (i.e. table one had photos of both of them at age one, table two = age two and so on, up to age 12).

While my brothers and I were practicing our quartet in the blazing sun, Henry was climbing up and down a very tall ladder in the stifling heat of the screened room where the reception was to be, hanging strings of twinkle lights with the help of one of the Dutch cousins. It was likely around +40C up in those rafters and it took several hours, but the result was truly lovely.

Henry and his assistants

Everyone pitched in to put on chair covers, these had burlap ribbons and a daisy tied around each one. I made sure the correct number of chairs was placed at each table. 

Steve, Fraser, Rebecca and Robert handle the chair covers with ease

After the formality of the ceremony rehearsal, we all headed to Porters for pizza and visiting. It was the bridal party and partners, along with any family members who had traveled from a distance. Some of our Harback family was there: Pastor Brad, wife Tina, kids Paige and Max; Andrew’s grandparents, Roy and Lila; his cousin Rachael and her husband and kids; as well as with Rebecca’s Dutch and Danish relatives and my dear friends, the Boersmas, from The Hague. My brothers and their wives, of course, with the addition of my brother, John, his wife Kathryn and one son joined us there – we’d visited them in March at their home in Phoenix and I was delighted they could join us for this special time. 

We all ate, laughed, listened to live music by one of Bill’s bands and shared some special time of getting acquainted or re-acquainted. Everyone was hungry so the pizzas we’d brought disappeared faster than anticipated and once again, Bill saved the day with a few handmade flatbread pizzas for the latecomers. He and Karin are such incredible hosts. I am in grateful awe.

(clockwise) Kathryn, Sheilia, Jim, Roy, Brad, Tina, Paige, Steve, Mark

(L to R) Dianne, The Jensens, Linda

A great time in a great venue for family and friends

(L to R) Brett, Lily, Reese, Rachael, Lila

(L to R) A cousin whose name I missed, Rebecca's Jensen grandparents, Brenda

Simone, Thomas, Danielle, Adam

The groom and Pastor Brad

Back to the VRBO rental home for the evening, we visited a while and then all went to bed. Such a unique and rare privilege, to sleep under the same roof with several family members for the first time in a very long time.

A special interlude that remains one of my favorite memories is when we arrived at the Costco parking lot. We were still sipping our McDonald’s coffee from Chilliwack and Henry parked in the shade and kept the car running so the A/C would keep us cool. He said something to the effect of, “Let’s just take some time to catch up. We’ve been around a lot of people for a lot of time and I’d like to have some time for just you and me.” So we exhaled and stretched and relaxed into some easy conversation. This was a refreshing oasis in the middle of the activity. It was such a wise choice and I am so grateful for Henry leaning into ways we can connect. This was only one among many ways I’ve witnessed in the past year where he is very intentional about our relationship. Even in the middle of a long to-do list or in the middle of a crowd, he lets me know he sees me and appreciates me, reaches out with a quiet word, squeeze, or wink – our own private love-link in the middle of being alive. In every aspect of my son’s wedding prep, he’s been available and helpful in jumping in to do whatever is necessary or release me to do what I needed to do but he also knew we needed to just be still and enjoy each other for a few precious minutes.

This whole week has been about connecting family, sharing love and memories and making new friendships. We’re united in one purpose and it is this sense that I want to re-remember whenever I recall the wedding. It is about the people, the family, the friends who have made our lives rich, who have built into us and encouraged us and held us when we cried and poked us when we got too full of ourselves and above all, loved on Andrew and Rebecca and helped make them the amazing people they are today.

More to come …click here for The Wedding Day (Part 1).

On His Blindness

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait."

~John Milton
(9 Dec 1608 – 8 Nov 1674)